Nature is back at it again. Hitting the greater LA area, right in the heart of Lakeview Terrance, with a succession of wildfires. This may be just a taste of what’s in store for us. The latest reports have estimated that the fires have damaged over 5000 acres of the San Fernando Valley were left charred and in ashes. Our investigations into the exact cause of these so-called wildfires, has been troubling. The evidence is mounting, pointing toward none other than Mother Nature herself…and her Homophobia!
These fires are the latest in countless anti-gay civil union and marriage Gestapo tactics; that Mother Nature has allegedly used over the years to strike fear into so many little gay hearts. Its no secret nature has publicly come out in support for Proposition 8. This controversial amendment to California’s constitution would eliminate the rights of same sex couples to get hitched in California. Though nature has emphatically denied any implications in the fires. Two eyewitnesses, who we will call Adam and Steve for their protection and pictured below, were atop the Santa Susanna Mountains horseback riding.
According to them they were frolicking through the valley when they witnessed the fire starting, “it was awful, just awful…I’d never seen anything flaming out of control like that.” The evidence implicating Mother Nature has been mounting for some time now; dating as far back as pre-historic times. Evidence that has recently come to light points to the Ice Age being her way of wiping out gay Neanderthals. And the great flood during the time of Noah happened during first ever Gay Pride parade at Sodom and Gomorra. Should we chalk this up to coincidence? Nature has given several public statements as to why she supports Proposition 8.
Sighting that it doesn’t want the church she currently attends to lose its tax-exemption status. She also fears that if it does not pass that it will open up churches to have to marry same-sex couples. Pastors like JIM GARLOW, that happen to support Proposition 8, of the San Diego Evangelical daises decline to comment on these fires. However, he and other major religious institutions such as The Mormon Church, Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America, and the Roman Catholic Church; firmly back the Proposition along side Nature stating its impeccable track record in backing such initiatives:
except for the following in tiny print no birth control policy, accusations of molesting young boys, the Inquisitions, the Crusades and well the entire Dark Ages.
Nature has not replied to our numerous phone calls and emails asking for a comment. But rest assured we will continue our lengthy investigation into “Nature’s Homophobia.
"except for the following in tiny print no birth control policy, accusations of molesting young boys, the Inquisitions, the Crusades and well the entire Dark Ages."
Bwahahahaha!
I am so glad you alerted me to your blog. Now I can laugh :)
have you seen the commercials about the kid coming home from school proclaiming,
'today i learned that a boy can marry a boy and it's ok!'
whoooooah, nelly. that's a little more than i'd like the school to be concerned about.
but i guess in any case a good ol' fashioned all american beatin'll take care of all those wayward sayin's and tomfoolery.